Novocaine And Turkeys

I’m in pain, folks. Serious pain. Physical, emotional, mental… you name it, I’m feeling it.
Boo hoo, you might say. Stop your whinging, James. Dry your eyes. Everyone’s life is tough at times, so suck it up.
But seriously. Hold your horses. Listen. Let me ask you: how many of you spend your days with the frozen body of a dead turkey?
Yes, you heard me. A dead turkey. At the moment I seem to spend more time in the company of frozen poultry than with living, breathing humans.

Because I’m Worth It…

Us foody types don’t get many chances to look stylish. I mean, it’s hard to look cool whenever you’re wearing a set of distinctly unfashionable kitchen whites.